In Praise of Older Women

It has been a while since I have written. Much water has gone under the bridge in the meantime.

My recent experiences have taught me that Shakti is transient. She moves in and out of  women. However, she makes herself discover-able. After losing Shakti in my beloved, I felt bewildered. I cannot recall doing anything different in the relationship; yet, the desire was gone. I tried to rationalise. In the end, I just accepted the situation. We are still very good friends, but she has become omnisexual, seeking her satisfaction in the ocean.

So what happened next?

I happened to meet an older lady. She is in her 80s. I could see from her smile that she was a dangerous woman, but she had all the appearances of being a prim and proper 'school mam'. She was coy and reserved, as one would expect of a recently-widowed woman. She was fit and healthy; trim, slim and upright. More like 60-something than 80-something.

It was clear that there was an attraction. She was insistent on telling me that she was 'too old' and that she had forgotten what to do. Her late husband's illness had precluded sex for a long time. I was invited for lunch and after eating, we sat down on a sofa and began to embrace and kiss. This had the effect of summoning forth Shakti. The result was explosive. Both of us were amazed at the intensity and passion. I was quite afraid of 'breaking' her, but as she does a routine of daily exercises, she is very tough.

Being a thinker,  she wanted us to analyse what was going on. Why, after so many dormant years, could the flames of passion be reignited? Why was I so attracted to her, given our age difference? Why was her sexual organs functioning so well, with lubrication and sensitivity. Why did she want to make love endlessly?

Considering these I answered that it seems that women are conditioned to believe that their sex lives are over after the menopause. Their men have no idea how to keep the juices flowing (literally!). I think women decide that they should quash their libido and take of crochet or flower arranging.

The flames of passion depends on the man; if he is skillful at fanning the embers, then a huge fire will ensue. Unhindered by thoughts of children or job or what anyone else will think of her, if she feels secure and love, a mature octogenarian will 'let go' completely. Combine this with a feeling that it could be the swan song, and you have a very passionate partner.

The age difference? It has no relevance. Yes, signs of ageing are inevitable, but it is not a body who I making love to, it is the soul. The body is just a device to accommodate the tactile world we live in.

Keeping fit and healthy is an important factor. Practicing yoga, for example, keeps the body supple. Sensible nourishment as well. Meditation and living an independent but social life (children, friends, etc) allows a woman to maintain and grow self-worth and self-esteem.

My mature lover is like a teenager in her eagerness and agility. It is highly erotic. Her orgasms are remarkable and she is constantly coming, and is wet (although I have to constantly assure her that it is nothing to be embarrassed about)

We are both fundamentally changed by what has happened. She confides with her daughters and they have said that they are no longer afraid of ageing. I feel that this woman, unless Shakti takes flight again, will be able to maintain her lifestyle and libido until she is well over 100. Sex for her is a therapy and people have commented on how much younger she seems.

The real beauty of the relationship is that it can be kept very private, because in our culture, no one would credit it that two pensioners would be having such wild sex sessions which last for many hours on a daily basis. This privacy is extremely important and the 'school mam' image works as a nice facade.

I wonder how many other women experience this renaissance? It seems that it would depend on their being a supply of men who are over 50 but understand tantra. Those men have to learn to love gently, take time and not be affected by cultural body images.

If their are any senior women in my audience, take heart; their is no such thing as an end of a sex life. It may be re-awoken at any time, given the right stimulation.

If you are around the age of menopause, please be aware. You may well have 60 years of your life left. It is possible to enjoy sex even more that when you were in your reproductive age. It is an incentive to you not to fear getting old. Find a younger man who understands Tantra and let go - let go of the worries and responsibilities. It will transform your life.





 

Enlightenment or Ignorance - it is Your Choice.

Enlightenment is an insight into the spiritual. It also means "the full comprehension of a situation". The opposite meaning is ignorance.

If you become enlightened with Tantra, you start to realize that most of humanity is ignorant. Not only in Tantric terms, but just the way we live. 

I feel that humanity today exists in a western-culturally led globalisation.  This has turned many of us into potted plants. Society feeds and  waters us to keep things just so. To be useful to carry out work for others. To keep the status quo.

We think that we can be "happy" by amassing material goods. We focus on time. We worship money, the great mammon. The education system dumbs us down with outcome orientated teaching. We accept that the world is becoming a rougher, less caring place. We focus on "me", the ego.

It could be so different. If we want to move forward in peace, we must think in a new way.

First of all, we have to start with our health. Without our health, we cannot be good lovers. It is hard to give if you are thinking about pain. We eat food that is not real food. To make someone rich, or as government policy. This leads to chronic illness: cancer, diabetes, heart disease, etc.

We have to take responsibility for our health . We can start by proper eating in modest amounts. We have to practice intermittent fasting and occasional calorific restriction.

We have to learn to centering, the single-point of attention. That is not found in your head, it is in your 'Hara', below your navel.

We have to learn correct breathing and how to move.

When we are healthy, we can move to fitness. Mental and physical fitness. Then we can give, engage with our minds and higher consciousness. We learn to do this and later we can learn to fuse with another enlightened human to release the full power of Tantra.

99.9% of people are living in ignorance. They have locked themselves in their intellect, egos and emotions. They are not in their sensuality.

In my opinion, there is one group, a large group, who have the easiest path. These are mothers who have brought their children to adulthood. There we have a dilemma. Because of cultural stereotypes, the women suffer from low self esteem and self worth. What a shame. 

The loving potential of these women can power the world. That potential is only released when the men become enlightened.

So, let me restate my mantra: The role of men on this Earth is to worship the Divine Feminine.  

Apart from being the catalyst to help women reach a higher and higher level of consciousness, they can do a lot. It starts with total respect for women. No molesting, no rape, no putting women down. No equality as feminists would have. Rather an elevation of all women to a status of the Divine Goddess.

That does not mean that men should be patronizing. Being strong and protective at the same time loving and tender is the duty of all men. Providing the means to procreation and supporting mother and child is another. Men must never regard women as property. They must accept the non-permanence of relationships. The latter is hard to achieve. Jealousy, envy and possession are all apart of our material world.  Rejection is hard for the ego to deal with. But we must get rid of the idea of monogamy and possession. It is a poison.  

If you are a woman reading this: Trust your intuition. Realize your sexuality. Look after your health.

If you are a man reading this: Accept that women are on a higher plane in the sentinent hierarchy. Use your sensuality and empathy as a strength. Do not consider it a weakness. Listen to your partner. Your aim is to help bring her to a lasting sensual orgasm and keep her there for as long as possible. You will then sense the energy of the cosmos. This is a reward in itself.

Namaste.

I love this following video.

Why We Should Study Tantra as Individuals from Katrina Bos on Vimeo.