In Praise of Older Women

It has been a while since I have written. Much water has gone under the bridge in the meantime.

My recent experiences have taught me that Shakti is transient. She moves in and out of  women. However, she makes herself discover-able. After losing Shakti in my beloved, I felt bewildered. I cannot recall doing anything different in the relationship; yet, the desire was gone. I tried to rationalise. In the end, I just accepted the situation. We are still very good friends, but she has become omnisexual, seeking her satisfaction in the ocean.

So what happened next?

I happened to meet an older lady. She is in her 80s. I could see from her smile that she was a dangerous woman, but she had all the appearances of being a prim and proper 'school mam'. She was coy and reserved, as one would expect of a recently-widowed woman. She was fit and healthy; trim, slim and upright. More like 60-something than 80-something.

It was clear that there was an attraction. She was insistent on telling me that she was 'too old' and that she had forgotten what to do. Her late husband's illness had precluded sex for a long time. I was invited for lunch and after eating, we sat down on a sofa and began to embrace and kiss. This had the effect of summoning forth Shakti. The result was explosive. Both of us were amazed at the intensity and passion. I was quite afraid of 'breaking' her, but as she does a routine of daily exercises, she is very tough.

Being a thinker,  she wanted us to analyse what was going on. Why, after so many dormant years, could the flames of passion be reignited? Why was I so attracted to her, given our age difference? Why was her sexual organs functioning so well, with lubrication and sensitivity. Why did she want to make love endlessly?

Considering these I answered that it seems that women are conditioned to believe that their sex lives are over after the menopause. Their men have no idea how to keep the juices flowing (literally!). I think women decide that they should quash their libido and take of crochet or flower arranging.

The flames of passion depends on the man; if he is skillful at fanning the embers, then a huge fire will ensue. Unhindered by thoughts of children or job or what anyone else will think of her, if she feels secure and love, a mature octogenarian will 'let go' completely. Combine this with a feeling that it could be the swan song, and you have a very passionate partner.

The age difference? It has no relevance. Yes, signs of ageing are inevitable, but it is not a body who I making love to, it is the soul. The body is just a device to accommodate the tactile world we live in.

Keeping fit and healthy is an important factor. Practicing yoga, for example, keeps the body supple. Sensible nourishment as well. Meditation and living an independent but social life (children, friends, etc) allows a woman to maintain and grow self-worth and self-esteem.

My mature lover is like a teenager in her eagerness and agility. It is highly erotic. Her orgasms are remarkable and she is constantly coming, and is wet (although I have to constantly assure her that it is nothing to be embarrassed about)

We are both fundamentally changed by what has happened. She confides with her daughters and they have said that they are no longer afraid of ageing. I feel that this woman, unless Shakti takes flight again, will be able to maintain her lifestyle and libido until she is well over 100. Sex for her is a therapy and people have commented on how much younger she seems.

The real beauty of the relationship is that it can be kept very private, because in our culture, no one would credit it that two pensioners would be having such wild sex sessions which last for many hours on a daily basis. This privacy is extremely important and the 'school mam' image works as a nice facade.

I wonder how many other women experience this renaissance? It seems that it would depend on their being a supply of men who are over 50 but understand tantra. Those men have to learn to love gently, take time and not be affected by cultural body images.

If their are any senior women in my audience, take heart; their is no such thing as an end of a sex life. It may be re-awoken at any time, given the right stimulation.

If you are around the age of menopause, please be aware. You may well have 60 years of your life left. It is possible to enjoy sex even more that when you were in your reproductive age. It is an incentive to you not to fear getting old. Find a younger man who understands Tantra and let go - let go of the worries and responsibilities. It will transform your life.