Are Women their own worst enemies?

I have a female friend who was at a get together of other women recently. They had originally met as a group of mothers at their kids' pre-school and now, some 10 years later, they were together again. My friend is a now a single mom, but is sexually self-realized and has decided that she no longer needs marriage as a part of her lifestyle. The other moms were either still married, or had moved on into other relationships. There was a strange reaction when she told about how her life was. There was no reference to her intimate life, mind you. Some of the women that she considered to be friends in the old days shunned her. She was rather taken aback at this but it did not spoil the general good tone of the party. She brought this up with me after a few days and we talked about what may have been going on. One of the things we discussed was that maybe the friends were either jealous or even scared of her. Why jealous? Because her demeanor is one of a woman who is satisfied and happy with herself, and therefore life. She gets what she wants without having to obey the rules of having to "give" herself to a man that she should live with. Perhaps that is what these women truly want without having the self-confidence or self-worth to be able to accomplish it. Scared, because I feel that "conventional" women see a loose, sexually-free woman as a threat. A threat to their ideals of marriage and social conformity and a threat to themselves directly, as they would not like their hubbies to come anywhere near this woman. This is clearly how women are supposed to react; as a part of the game, they are expected to uphold the patriarchal conventions of subservience and possession. A women should "belong" to a man and a man should "belong" to a women. That is marriage, isn't it? It seems to me that the witch hunts of previous times were not instigated by men, rather by women who were jealous and scared of any women who was free, wise and attractive. This attitude was reinforced in Christian lands by the church. Therefore women were demonized if they were not under the cosh of a man and some dreadful crimes were committed against them. We don't burn witches today, although in some cultures, any woman who deviates is punished by stoning to death. In so-called civilized countries, it is still the norm to ostracize free-thinking, free-living women and cast them as sinners and a threat to the institution of marriage and the family. I don't think women, generally, have come very far since the witch-burning times. What a shame. If we are going to move forward or even survive as the human race, we need to get back to appreciating the Divine Feminine in every woman. That means first and foremost that women have to listen to their inner voice and rediscover what was so prominent 10,000 or so years ago. Other women who are on the path should support every effort by their sisters and not feel envious or resentful. Only when all women are aware can they hope to educate men on how to treat women as Divine Love Goddesses.

Sacred Sexuality (by Shrif Swami)

Tantra says: The appeal of sex is because it gives you a moment of egolessness, timelessness, meditation. Because of ego-gratification, sex has become very very superficial, it only scratches the skin. It does not go deep, it has no depth. So many people are worried about premature ejaculation. The reason? They don’t love. If they love, then naturally they can make love for longer periods — the more you are in love, the longer the period will be. For hours you can be in love, because there is no hurry, the ego is not controlling.

In a Tantra coitus you can remain for hours. It is a kind of melting with the woman or with the man, it is a kind of relaxation into each other’s being. And it is meditative, because there is no ego, no thought stirs. And time stops. This is a glimpse of God. Tantra is the natural way to God, the normal way to God. The object is to become so completely instinctual, so mindless, that we merge with ultimate nature — that the woman disappears and becomes a door for the ultimate, the man disappears and becomes a door for the ultimate.

This is the Tantra definition of our sexuality: The return to absolute innocence, absolute oneness. The greatest sexual thrill of all is no search for thrills, but a silent waiting. Utterly relaxed, utterly mindless. One is conscious, conscious only of being conscious. One is consciousness. One is contented, but there is no content to it. And then there is great beauty, great benediction..

Sexual Energy (by Shrif Swami)

Sexual energy is a wastage if it only remains confined to sex, but it becomes a great blessing if it starts transforming its quality: sex not for sex’ sake — use sex as a communion of love. Use sex as a meeting of two souls, not only of two bodies. Use sex as a meditative dance of two persons’ energies. And the dance is far richer when man and woman are dancing together — and sex is the ultimate in dance: two energies meeting, merging, dancing, rejoicing.

But use it as a stepping-stone, as a jumping-board. And when you reach the climax of your sex orgasm, become aware of what is happening, and you will be surprised — time has disappeared, mind has disappeared, ego has disappeared. For a moment there is utter silence. This silence is the real thing!

By Shrif Swami Reposted from Tantric Therapy on Facebook.

The New World Order

Wise up, guys! There is a New World Order on the way!

Women today have found their rightful way to economic independence and that is a fact. It goes and different speeds around the world. In North West Europe, it is a fast development and I am told that that is the situation in East Asia. Women are getting educated and finding power through their careers.

Oh dear, I hear the lament of my brothers; but there is really no need for this. It is a fact that the peacefulness and hence, prosperity, of a nation is proportional to how its women are treated. I take it that we all have an interest in a peaceful world? Good!

So what does this mean to the average Jock? It means that you, Jock, will have to get wise and change your ways if you want any sort of sex life in the future that involves a female partner.

Until recently, us guys had entitlement, which meant that we could do pretty much what we liked with women - screw them, rape them, enslave them, beat them, because the expression of testosterone is violence. No way could women fight back. They were number two, if they were considered anything at all.

That is changing - partly by education and partly through the feminist movement. No, I am not a great fan of the feminist movement, especially when it becomes as fundamentalist as the creed of rabid ayatollahs and gets incorporated into the establishment - "state feminism". I believe that these women have directed so much hate at men, that they have denied their sisters and daughters access to what men are really capable of, if only they had the right guidance.

It should be (but it isn't) plain to see that the world is heading in the wrong direction. We have a corporation that wants to flood the world with cheap, toxic, highly addictive food for the masses. Probably backed by governments. Many people are living decidedly unhealthy morbid lifestyles as a consequence. If you are an obese, diabetes ridden, heart attack victim who has been made ill by all the crap food, you will find it difficult to reach tantric bliss.

"The media purveys a never-ending stream of inane, dumbed down hypnotic garbage that numbs the senses, plus of course Porn – the only means by which the de-sensitised, emotionally crippled consumers can get turned on any more" to quote Eleanor O'Rourke

Take the mantra of competition (the driving force of survival) to its obvious conclusion – a few people stand on the winner’s podium while everybody else loses.

This could all change, starting with the realization that women are divine and to be a real man, you must be a worshiper of women. However, there are many other things that could happen, such as a new paradigm for corporations who set themselves in society instead of believing they are separate from it.

To live a tantric lifestyle, essential for humanity's survival, you have to love yourself, your body and keep both mind and body healthy. By exercise and right diet. The Internet plays an important role, so never allow governments and corporations to control it. Write you own blog, your experiences. You can learn, discover and teach your children to learn about intimate human relations from books, articles, blogs and spiritual videos instead of the plastic, distorted, perverted world of pornography. Distinguish between the erotic and pornography.

Seek out like-minded people. Avoid those who are only in it for the money. Discuss openly, without fear, with everybody. Distinguish between casual, mindless, bonking sex and the sacred love-making between two souls. Use the creativity to solve your life's daily problems. Care for others as you will be cared for. Teach your children and others. Do not evangalise, but be aware of those who are ready to climb out of the dungeons of corporate oppression where they are shackled with the evil of money and materialism. Wellbeing and happiness in who you are counts much more than the love of things. Things are to be used, humans are to be loved, but our world has turned this on its head and what you see is many unhappy, unfulfilled, "wealthy" people.

Your wealth is in your giving, not the accumulated things. That giving starts with love and awareness. The love of nature, the appreciation and thankfulness of everything you experience, the godliness of you and everything and the transmutation of energy by the uniting of the feminine and the masculine in sacred, deep, aware, respectful, love-making.

Be skeptical; listen to the messages: kill the competition, consume more, go for economic growth. Reject these shibboleths and think in terms of enjoy what's around, cultivate relationships, forget concepts of possession and ownership of other people.In being jealous of things and relationships, you are sinking into a black hole. If you love yourself and have the capacity to love others, love will find you. But if you are envious, jealous, obsessive and possessive, unhappiness will follow you around like a shadow

So, hopefully you have now read the above and taken this in. You can go back to your rat-race job and convince yourself you have to do all this to "survive" (which is actually all you are doing), or you can sit on your bottom with a pizza and beer watching some inane reality show because you have nothing else to do having been excluded from the "elite" rat-race society. Neither are optimal, so start today by taking some outdoor exercise. Go swimming. Be aware of all that is around. Appreciate it. Find the best food you can afford. Organic. Start doing yoga and meditation. Clear you r mind and tune up your beautiful body. Seek the immutable truth in everything you appraise. Find like-minded people. Be open and honest to these people. They will be open and honest back. Love with passion and with the aim of giving and pleasing the other on a physical and spiritual level. Live long and lovingly. Give yourself.

A Woman is like a Canvas and her Lover an Artist

I love Metaphors! I was explaining to my partner what it was like to make love to her, bearing in mind that to me she has special qualities, which I will tell you about further down this blog. I told her that she was like a canvas and when I made love to her, it was like painting a picture. I come to think about what you needed to paint a great picture - time, canvas, brushes, paint. Paint! that is a vital ingredient, the raw material, without which it would be impossible to paint at all. My lover supplies a complete palette of bright paints - the colors of her chakras. So as long as I have this paint I can create wonderful images on the canvas. The point here is that those colors have to be available. Unfortunately, many women (and I suppose men) only have black and/or white available, which limits what can be created. Why do most women have very limited and plain colors? Because they have, since youth, had the colors leeched out of them by parents, family, culture, tradition and religion. Or even worse, they have had the palettes deliberately spoiled (mixed together to form a dirty brown) by the same parties. What I mean to say here is that a woman who is open, empathetic and unafraid is easier to love; because she reacts - naturally. She is not scared of where the feelings will take her and is ready to let her brain slide and her mind open up to the vast emptiness where all knowledge resides. Of course, this process relies on her partner understanding the process and being full of trust, because trust=love which gives security. Women can do this themselves to a degree, but half the magic is missing and they cannot fully concentrate. Have you ever tried to tickle yourself? Many, many women are filled with guilt or have been repressed. They once dreamed of being loved and having someone to take those fresh colors and make a fantastic painting. Only the "artist" had no idea, daubing the paint on crudely, even making holes in the canvas occasionally. A huge disappointment for many, leaving the majority to believe that the fault was with them. The doctrines of religion have caused huge damage and you can see that on the streets. Women rarely look happy in public. Because they are fundamentally not - or they are afraid to show happiness in case it becomes a signal for another selfish "artist" to come and mess the paints up to give a monochrome crap-color. Can anything be done to reverse this? Can the paints be separated out? Yes, I believe they can, but it takes a lot of patience and understanding. First, there has to be an atmosphere of trust - trust that the woman is safe under all circumstances and she will not be physically of psychologically hurt. The lover has to be capable of showing his(or her) understanding and skill, without "bragging". It is all in the kiss, and you won't believe how many times I have been called "dangerous" after the first kiss. It takes time, and lots of tender love. It takes dialog and exploration. Many women suffer from a severe lack of self-worth and they have the concepts of Shakti explained and discussed. Masturbation by the woman is encouraged, as this helps her ease into being relaxed and shows her lover how she likes to be touched. Go slowly - I mean real slow - 2-3 hours minimum. Many guys are thinking "whoa!, she has to what?" Why do men have problems with this, that a woman pleasuring herself somehow takes the focus off Mr. Big Dick Ego? You are here to assist and your reward is the love you will get back and, if you believe in Karma, the positive energy that comes your way. There is a fantastic feeling of achievement to watch a woman disappear into a trance of pleasure. If you are very aware, you will see the Kundalini energy creating a fountain from the top of her head and you will feel good. Believe me. If you can control your ejaculation, you can go on for hours, because she can! I would say that the biggest obstacle is approaching the issue from the start with a woman. Remember, many women, it seems, especially those over 50, do not know what an orgasm looks or feels like. But with an open mind and a lot of love, they will and your partner will realize her sexuality. Enjoy!

Abundance

This is a re-post from Bodhisatva. It was very difficult to read, so I have tidied it up. I did this because there is an important message, which needs to be broadcasted. I hope that you don't mind, Bodisatva?

"According to Ayurveda Vihar [lifestyle] and Ahar[ proper food] is necessary for a abundant and healthy life.

Harmony and abundance and superconciuosness or no mind space is required for a happy married life unless the harmony , abundances or superconciouness happens between two people you will search for a new partner.

Unless the abundance and harmony happens you will fight and get bored with your partner. Other things like beauty or education or status are not required for happy married life if harmony and nothingness is happening in relationship the marriage life or love relationship will be happy it will be a celebration and will dance together if harmony happens between two people and it will last long.

We are not whole and complete and that's why we are searching for a lover or partner to become complete and divine. Our partners help us to realise our divinity.

Male and female energy or yin or yang melts in to each other and we become whole and divine. According to yoga and Ayurveda we have seven chakras in our body.

In ordinary sexual relationship only some chakras meet between couples and harmony and superconciousnesss does not happen. In India, Hindus and tribes do some ritual before marriage . If you do these rituals. there is possibility of happening of love , harmony and superconciousness between two lovers or husband and wife. These are very scientific rituals .

In some tribes 15 days before the marriage the bridegroom and bride are massaged with turmeric and sandalwood paste the reason is that turmeric and sandal wood helps in opening of chakras in body sandal helps with third eye chakra and turmeric helps in opening solar plexus chakra the seat of our ego. They use gold jewellery and flower garland during the marriage ceremony, the reason is that flowers helps in opening the chakras or energy vortexes and moving the energy. Use of flowers in bach flower remedies everybody knows. Bach flower therapy uses flowers for healing purpose .

Buddha field flower essences uses flowers for opening the chakras. Flowers like hibiscus, rose are aphrodisiac, that is why lovers gives rose flowers to their beloved. also Indians use gold jewellery in marriage as gold is superconductor of energy . It helps in opening of kundalini and chakras and brings harmony and abundance. It brings vitality and it is used in ayurvedic medicines as a aphrodisiac . Gold is used in homeopathy as medicine for sexual diseases as a remedy name ”aurum met” .Gold is very useful in healing wounds from broken relationship ,sorrow and in jealousy and possesivness. It helps in abundance and in healing.

In India during marriage the bridegroom wears a cap or a pagri . This cap helps in listening of nada or sound of aum . As you go deep in love you start listening the sound of aum from your ears if you listen to this sound with a pagri or with a ear plug you will achieve nothingness as the sound of aum is a bridge between spiritual and material world. Thats why Sikh people in india wears a turban . The sound of aum is indicating that you are reaching near your divinity. During marriage tribes and Hindus go around seven round the fire it means meeting of seven chakras and they promise each other during ceremony to be together till the energy reaches to seventh chakra or superconciousness and they put a dot or bindi which is sindoor or kumkum [it is a chemical substance mercuric oxide which helps in opening the chakras]. 

Abundance means you are not bored with your partners but you are happy and content your male and female energy is in balance. if you see the walls of khajuraho Tantra temples they are revealing so many secret of abundance and harmony. They do so many ritual and techniques to attend a happy and satisfied married life. Tantra temples were used to perform these rituals. For more information regarding Tantra temple visit my tribe ”Tantra temple” @tribe .net.

A marriage is not only a marriage for a tribe in India. They gather together for ceremonies at least 15 days before the marriage and this ceremony becomes a real celebration for everybody. They enjoy food for physical abundance and they dance for celebration. Use of pan or bettle leaf with silver foil and saffron brings abundance. there is beautiful stories about krishna and radha with pan, krishna eats pan or bettle leaf and when the leaf turns in to a red paste after chewing the pan krishna licks the lips of radha and radha sucks this paste from his mouth through his lips .

Krishna and radha goes to different jungles for raasleela . This jungle or van is full of seasonal fruits and honey and delicacies they sing and dance and celebrate this beautiful life. In indian krishna temple in Nathdwara in Rajasthan they serve pan after the serving the 56 bhog to Krishna. 56 bhog is 56 tyes of indian food delicacies. Now these days a himalayan drug company uses pan and kum kum in its aphrodisiac medicine tentex forte. Physical abundance comes with eating these 56 type of delicacies.

Indians eat with hands the reason is that your fingers also becomes sensual after opening the heart chakra. These recipes is cooked in pure ghee or in indian butter.when you are not abundant your sexuality is localised to first chakra with jealousy and possessions. It is sexuality but not sensuality. Sensuality comes after opening of heart chakra. When heart chakra opens then you don't feel inadequate in love making and you share your love without any attachment . You have so much love to give that you share without any condition or relationship without asking anything in return.

Indians use sitopaladi churna for abundance. This churna is made of bamboo which is high in silica mineral. If there is less silica in body you are malenutritioned. silica helps in digestion and absorbing the mineral and vitamins from food. They use cowry mala for psychic protection as you become very vulenarable in deep love. Cowry is also full of calcium. Calcium is very useful in opening the heart chakra. There are so many products available. Then question comes what is good or what is bad. The answer is the products which makes you aware alert and abundant is good and which makes you unaware , unconscious and intoxicated is bad. 

I am presenting some Indian herbs and products which are used in these ceremonies .For an indian tribe, marriage is celebration and death is also a celebration. Totality is key of happy life. totality means not only two bodies rubbing to each other but it should be meeting of heart and mind and body .In this totality surrender will happen . I mean Tantra will happen [Tantra is a happening but not a performance - if your heart is open and if you are vulnerable and receptive Tantra will happen itself]. But our social conditioning, fears and control do not allow Tantra to happen.

We don't need kamasutra vatsayanas asanas for Tantra . These asanas are performance which comes from mind and Tantra can not happen only with mind]. That is why meditations, rituals needed to bring the totality. Once you are total in love making you get possessed with sex energy and in this possession all kamasutra asanas and yoga asanas and mudras happen automatically during the love making.[ if you are total in love making then you don't need to go to a yoga class either.... Tantra is a couple yoga where your partner works as a catalyst so all the asanas happens to both partners and if you are aware then you can watch your body doing asanas.
 
Our lover takes us to space of aloneness which is a space full of joy and celebration. but if totality is not there in the relationship then it becomes a loneliness. Aloness is totally different from loneliness, it is a space of joy. In aloneness you are happy with your own company, but in loneliness you search for somebody to fill your emptiness . If Tantra happens in relationship then it creates a space of aloneness ,joy and creativity and if the totality is not there in relationship then it creates loneliness and emptiness and isolation.
 
Now these days in the name of Tantra and art of love making many people doing many workshops and sessions and classes they release their sexual suppressions in the name of Tantra . It's not Tantra - it is true that when you release your sexual suppression you feel relaxed and unburdened. But it is not Tantra. It is not real love making. 

My own understanding about Tantra is that Tantra is a happening. Tantra happens from the space of no mind.it is not a effort its a happening it happens when you get possessed with sex energy, and once Tantra happens between couples it becomes celebration ,you dance with happiness and you feel gratefull to each other. Unless the dance , celebration and gratefullness happens in relationship it is not real love. When you do a kamasutra exercise or try to perform in sex its not Tantra, because all the doing comes from mind and Tantra is a happening which happens when you are in space of no mind or you get possessed with sex energy. You are not doing any effort or you are not doing any technique you are just allowing or surrendering to sex energy.
 
Due to fear, morality and conditionings we do not allow ourselves to get possessed or surrender to our sex energy. To attend space of no mind all the rituals and techniques of meditation are needed, but what I feel is that in the West, Tantra has become a good business with selling dildos, cheap Tantra books written by unexperienced Tantra teachers,kamasutra techniques and which has nothing to do with Tantra . If you surrender to sex energy all kamasutra postures will happen themselves and you do not need dildos, Tantra teachers and cheap materials to learn Tantra. You only need to learn how to come out of our conditionings, control and morality.

Any good meditation [specially Oshos active meditation techniques] iare very help full in attaining ”no mind ”space. Tantra is meeting of energies and ones you get possessed with the divine energy, Tantra happens itself then who cares about learning about ”p” spot or ”g” spot. because body has its own natural instinct to find out the spots or do a posture . Its all mind.
 
There are two types of love: First is biological love, it is our animal instinct. You get attracted to somebody due to hormones, and these hormones lasts for 3 years. Then you start getting bored with your partner. It is just lust. The second type of love happens when you meet at soul level after opening of chakras in body - when you meditate, do rituals and use aphrodisiac herbs these rituals and herbs helps in opening in chakras of body. It helps in happening of love of soul level, and during these rituals, herbs help in attaining ,abundance, saiti harmony,and superconciousness.

These days so many tantric classes are happening for teaching art of love making, but Tantra needs a pure heart so energy can flow between two person but not a teacher with his/her intellectual mind. Love is the basic requirement for happening of Tantra, but i do not think Tantra teachers are always feeling love for their clients - they just teach without love for sake of teaching or for money. If two people are in deep love Tantra will happen. 

People can relive their sexual suppressions in Tantra classes in the name of Tantra or art of love making but its not Tantra.
 
In India, Tantra, or the art of love making has its own tradition. Its spiritual and divine. In India, people do not do Tantra with aggressive minds. Tantra needs a feminine surrendering mind. In this surrender, Tantra happens - that is why a Hindu woman touches the feet of her husband- she surrenders to her husband so the circle is completed. But in the West woman is becoming very competitive with man and that is why there are many divorces and broken relationships.

This competitive attitude makes her solar plexus very strong. Solar plexus is the seat of ego. With a strong ego, love never happens. Surrender never happens. Two egos always fight. A man should be a man and a woman should be a complete woman and there will be attraction due to polarity. The energy always moves between opposite poles . That is why learning of Tantra or art of love making is needed, so energy can move to all the seven chakras freely and enlightenment and superconciousness can be attend. Surrender and totality is the key of Tantra. Women in the West are now full of intellectual knowledge or or full of mind, and this borrowed knowledge or education has made her solar plexus very strong. Tantra need a innocent heart to happen. My understanding is that once the energy crosses the solar plexus in love a deep harmony happens due to opening of the heart and all the argument and fights stops. Once the harmony happens then lovers do not even talk - they understand each other without talking.

You can not solve your relationship problems by talking or by argument;unless harmony happens between two people there will be arguments and fighting. The more the borrowed intellectual knowledge the more the fights and conflicts.  Surrender means totality in relationship. Not only two bodies rubbing to each other but it should be meeting of heart and mind and body that is the meaning of yoga joining the body mind and soul.

I have found that doing meditations, Tantra and ritual and using aphrodisiac herbs and products helps in bringing abundance and contentment in relationship. There are so many products, herbs and food and medicine then the question is what to eat for a abundant and happy married life? Here are some natural products and herbs which can be used as a aphrodisiac as well as for healing purpose also. These herbs and products is used by Indian tribes and Indian people. Here in this tribe you can also get consultation and counseling by our team of Ayurvedic doctor and experts regarding these products . You can also ask question and advise regarding your sexual and relationship problems by sending a email. classes and sessions on Tantra also available for more information visit Bodisatva's tribe ”Tantra temple” and the tribe ”tantric matrimony” and ”kamasutra products”@www.tribe.net."

It's all about trust

Fellas!

Do you know how a woman lets go? She does it when she feels really comfortable and secure. She needs to trust the man she is with. Because women have been so abused and suppressed for thousands of years, it has become apart of the genetic inheritance not to trust a man.

Who can blame them? Men treat women as objects, as animals that are to be hunted and tamed, to obey and submit to the will of our "superiority". Women get hurt by men all the time. I am not suggesting that all women are angels, but the ones who act psychopathically are often trying to meet men on their own ground.

Women are amazing, because they can, through their sexuality, reach a higher level of consciousness. We men can also reach a higher level of consciousness, but often we have to choose the meditative route. But a part of the worshiping of the divine is to realize the divine nature of the sexual energy present in a woman, namely the kundulani energy in her ovaries.

Because of the suppression, many women are not even aware of this energy in their own bodies, or because of the guilt attached to experiencing sexual pleasure, are scared to explore this path.

Some women mistakenly, in my opinion, used sex toys - inanimate articles, to stimulate themselves further than they can stimulate themselves. Because you have probably noticed that it is very hard to tickle yourself.

By gaining the real trust of a woman, it is possible to allow her to move into a zone of ecstacy, where by experiencing orgasmic plateaus, over a period of time, move ever higher and away from this realm. It is a beautiful thing to experience and it is mans' true role on Earth.

When I say trust, I don't mean to try and fool your partner. This trust takes time to build up and if it is not real, any woman will see right through it. Do not rush it. It takes empathy and sympathy, listening and kind gestures. Show her that you will never harm her.

You will know when she trusts you when you ask her to masturbate in front of you.

Now from a man's point of view, this can be a difficult thing to ask; many men have the idea that when a woman masturbates, it is a direct insult to his sexual prowess. That she is thinking about someone else. This is horribly selfish thinking. Just because many men jerk off with an image of a woman of their choice does not mean that women do the same! No, women are more sophisticated that that! She is pleasuring herself, touching and caressing the parts that she herself would like her lover to pleasure - if she could trust him that far.

From a woman's point of view, this can be extremely embarrassing, especially if she has been brought up to believe that masturbation is evil. Up to a few years ago, women would not admit to masturbation, whereas 98% of men did. (I think it was Alfred Kinsey who said the other 2% were liars!). Now, women admit in confidential surveys that they do. Why should it be any different from men to women? It is actually a lot easier for a woman to conceal, because a man has dispose of the sperm on ejaculation and he can only do it so may times in a day.

But is is still taboo. So a woman has to trust - implicitly.

What is the point, here? Women have different ways of masturbation, but essentially it goes from stimulation of the skin, to the breasts, the thighs and then the clitoris. Many do not insert their fingers into their vaginas. As a man, your initial task is to observe, silently. Do nothing. Just watch and see what happens. Take note of how long it takes. If your partner is comfortable (and this may take some days), she will be able to get to orgasm. You may ask her what pleases her most and she may let you try to replicate it. Real gentleness is required. If you don't know what I mean, think about women grabbing your cock - hurts sometimes, doesn't it?

Let her tell you what works and what doesn't. Start intimacy by holding her and laying close to her the full length of your bodies. Allow her to touch herself and when she starts breathing heavily and moaning, often with her tongue flicking, gently kiss her face and lips.

Allow her to proceed at her own speed. Tantric massage is the requirement here, to channel the sexual energy up through the chakras. Observe the state she is in. Whisper reassurances or repeat a low "Om" sound in her ears, like a bell - deep and ringing. Follow her hands and fingers as she gets higher. The transition will come, for you to eventually take over.

This process cannot be rushed. It takes time and patience and a secure and comfortable place. If you are into meditation, this should be preceded by meditation to clear the minds.

It may lead to full intercourse, or not. If it doesn't, feel happy that you have helped your partner to where she wants to be. This is your role.

Please look at this video, how women can achieve orgasm during childbirth: